Film Review
I know, I know – where the heck have I been? It’s been a year since I blogged anything new and even now I’m so short of time/energy I can’t even produce a new blogpost for you today. So I decided to recycle! (Stay with me, recycling is very current). I will be posting some more old WordPress blogposts but for now have you ever read my film reviews? I came across this old review I wrote for Screen Jabber (I’ll save you a Google, this film review site doesn’t exist anymore). I used to write film reviews as a way of fine-tuning my comedic writing skills (you will soon see I failed at both comedy, and writing skill – ha).
My editor at Screen Jabber was the late Stuart Conover who posted an earlier draft version of my review under his own name and, frankly, that was doing me a favour. Having re-read it I’ve very quickly made slight improvements because, dang, what you write as a kid (read: novice) can be so embarrassing – form, narration, THE POINT – none of it was really there. I haven’t improved it too much – you need to be able to see the lameness to appreciate how far I’ve come as a writer. So, travel back in time with me as this review from 13 years ago references nearly historic electronics, 80’s horror movies and an ancient British TV ad that allegedly was part of an era that began the concept of viral advertising. Enjoy!
Bride Wars, 2009
Do you take this film to be your 90-minute companion? To watch and to enjoy for the duration of your union? (I would suggest you answer “no”, and run out of the cinema before you get tied down).
A chick flick/rom-com about two best friends who become two best enemies when their childhood dreams of having their weddings at the Plaza hotel come true, until they realise the weddings are booked for the same day. Cue ensuing rivalry, dirty tricks involving an old biddy blue rinse, and the You’ve Been Tangoed man and you have the ultimate Bridezillas.
Emma (Hathaway) is a sweet, push-over teacher, while Liv (Hudson) is the stereotypical, hard-nosed lawyer. Despite the difference in characters, the pair have always been best friends until they realise they will have to share their wedding day. Despite the premise of warring women sabotaging each other’s weddings being fodder for endless fun, Bride Wars fails to deliver. Instead, the viewer feels like he/she is biting into stale wedding cake with the sabotage scenes (potential gold) being short and few.
This review began describing Bride Wars as a “rom-com”, as that was the official description, but it’s not really a comedy if you only laugh twice throughout the entire film. So actually, it’s just a “rom”. Oh wait, despite the film being about weddings, there wasn’t much romance, either. So it’s just…a film. Hmmm. The only saving grace was that Bride Wars didn’t have a typical ending, despite the jejune storyline, but most viewers will still spot the twist a mile off. Bride Wars has nothing unique or interesting to offer except that in this chick flick the relationship focus was on friendship rather than romance, which made a pleasant change.
I’m not completely made of stone; it was a nice film about friendship and childhood dreams, but overall it was a nosedive for both Hudson and Hathaway. Save yourself a trip to the cinema, you will only end up hurling your popcorn at the screen. Girls who are looking for a chick flick – rent it on DVD when you next have a slumber party. Actually, the Bride of Chucky might be a better choice – after all, the point of a slumber party isn’t to actually fall asleep.
The London Author